Have you ever thought about why you are who you are right now, and how you will create who you will be in the future? Why perhaps you are feeling a bit lost or stuck, and how you can get past this to live forwards?
When I ask most people what makes them who they are right now, they respond, “My past experiences. My education. My environment. My genetics.” These are things that either happened in the past or that you were born with–things you carry with you from the past into the future.
And when it comes to the experiences you had, you made decisions about those experiences that you also take forward with you. In fact, you project them forward into the future. You expect those decisions–those thoughts–to continue being true. Thoughts like:
- I’m not good enough.
- People don’t like me.
- I should have been a boy (or a girl).
- Men (or women) leave me.
- I never have enough money.
- I’m not worthy of earning more money.
- I make bad decisions.
- I’m unlovable.
- I’m ugly.
- I’m stupid.
With these thoughts projected out into the future, expecting them to be true tomorrow, next week, a month from now, you perpetuate yourself being that same person you believe yourself to be, in the future. You recreate the same experiences over and over again, proving to yourself over and over again that you are, indeed, this person.
You have to leave all of these experiences and decisions in the past. Stop bringing them with you into the future if you want to change this. When you stop expecting to find yourself in that same situation over and over again, expecting to find proof that you are that person, you will stop having those experiences.
Stop and consider what decisions you made because of past negative events or experiences that you have then placed in your future and then created that same unwanted outcome. If you can become aware of the experience and the thought, or the decision you made about yourself, you can then affect your future outcomes, and you can begin changing them.
By being conscious of the decision made in the past about yourself, you can affect your future and change who you become.
You can use your past as a platform for the future no matter what your past is like… Yes this is true, all those things that are rolled up in your past; successes, baggage, events, close calls, experiences, jobs, etc.
All of these can either help you move forward OR help you put up barriers for yourself to not move anywhere. It’s your decision!
Within my coaching, one of the first steps we do is to look to our past. I talk about life stories quite a lot in my posts because I have found it’s been a great way to identify the things holding my clients back. Once we know what they are, then we can deal with them head-on and move forwards.
A great start is to write your life history on a page. No more than one page of A4. Don’t overthink it, just go with the flow. Make sure you handwrite it too. What do you notice when you re-read it? What are 5 big takeouts you notice?
Next, sign up for my WINK Workshops starting in October. It’s amazing free coaching and the opportunity to network with women in the same place! And it’s amazing. Hundreds of ladies have now gone through the workshop.
While you are waiting feel free to download my FREE live your dream life guide. It asks you a series of questions that help you reflect on the past and become unstuck. why not give it a go, what have you got to lose. Plus you’ll get to hear first hand when the doors to Leading Ladies one in September. I’m only taking on a limited number of ladies so you’ll be first in the queue.
To find out more about Leading Ladies pop along to PrimePersona.co.uk